Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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