We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
