she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I understand Curling. That high.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
