i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
