I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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