this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
