Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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