OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
