Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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