first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
