'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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