Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I need moral support for this bender
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
