we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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