Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
