so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
