I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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