I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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