Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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