How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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