Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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