I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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