i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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