thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
