Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I just shit out all my problems.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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