I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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