Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
