True but thats because hes a fetus.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
