she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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