So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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