I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
