and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
