So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Congratulations! We have a period
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