i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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