theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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