ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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