I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
