Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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