she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
