Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
