your parents love me but you hate me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
