i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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