so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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