did you get engaged???
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
