it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
