Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize