He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
