My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
