Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize