elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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