I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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