Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
