Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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