So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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