Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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