I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
