My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
