Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
