worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
