Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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