none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
